Oh fuck

I always forget that I have this thing and I really wish I would remember because I could update this thing everyday with all of the shit I see.

I am going to try and remember to try and write in here more often.

Anyway I went and saw Avatar tonight with my friend Tiffany and the ghettoplex on Western. While I was waiting at the western stop some crackhead....well he was either a crackhead or so wasted that he was incoherent. Moving on he was walking around mumbling to himself that I couldn't understand him. He kept talking outloud and pointed to the girl standing next to me. I turned off my IPOD so I could hear him better and realized he kept saying, "I'm going to kill you, I'm going to fucking kill you." He was saying this to an invisible person because after he kept saying it he kept looking at the girl next to me and kept saying no not you. Thankfully the train pulled up not much longer after that.

Is you tweekin?

Yesterday while I was on my way home from the Belmont bus I noticed this lady standing across from me making some commotion, now I will be honest when I see someone making a fuss on the CTA I usually pause my music on my IPOD so I can listen to them.

I paused my music and noticed that this lady was talking out loud to herself. Not only was she talking to herself very loudly so everyone could hear she was also talking shit about everyone else that was on the bus. I just looked up and stared at her, she kept looking at me and then said out loud "People these days piercing their noses and shit, piercing everything these fucking days."

Now obviously this lady was talking about me because I was the only one in the front who had their nose pierced. This pissed me off so I shot her a dirty look, she then proceeded to look at me and say, "I'm going to beat this bitches ass".

I got really angry that this lady was threatening me for no reason but quickly got over it because she was obviously insane. She just kept talking and said a few more things. There was a man sitting next to me and she said something along the lines of how only a real man could handle her and how puerto ricans weren't clean enough men.

She also kept talking about God and some teenage boys that were on the bus. She finally got off the bus and everyone made a sigh of relief as she got off.

It just got me thinking, why do a lot of crazy people like to talk about God and Jesus? Now don't get me wrong if you are religious that's cool but half of the time I run into someone who is crazy they are talking about God or something religion related.

It just reminds me of the time I was at the McDonald's on Chicago and State (which I refer to as crack head central) and I saw this obese lady talking to some random man. She kept talking about how she was in the bible...then she went into the bathroom, came out about 5 minutes later and referred to her taking a shit as a "cleansing of the soul" and that God doesn't want anything in or around the body.


Oh well if it wasn't for the crazies I would have no good stories.

The power of smell....or enchanted orchid by bath and body works

Today I was on my way to work and just as I was about to get off the bus an old man who was in his 50's at least tapped me on my shoulder to tell me that I smelled good. He asked me what I was wearing and I know it is shocking but I am usually polite to random people on the CTA so I told him that it was Enchanted Orchid from Bath and Body Works.

This would not have been as alarming if he did not lean into me and stare at me with his eyes wide open as if he was going to swallow me whole at any minute. He told me how I reminded him of Spring and then told me that it was "a long time since he smelled a woman". I was only thankful that my stop had come up.

This is my life.

GEEZ!

Like sands through the hourglass these are the days of my life

By request I have decided to make a blog strictly about my everyday encounters whether it be on the CTA, at work, or just in general since I run into the craziest, most insane, idiotic people ever. There are rarely days where I don't have a new story. Anyway to anyone who bothers to read this hope you enjoy :)

Tonight I went to see Demetri Martin with my friends Jenna and Gail at Loyola University. I was pretty excited seeing as how he is one of my favorite comedians and was even more excited since we got really good seats. While we were sitting down I noticed a girl sitting in a single seat in front of us. Later a bunch of us noticed she kept talking to one of the security guards trying to convince him of something but he just kept telling her "no".

It turns out that one of her friends came to the same show and she asked the security guard to put an extra seat at the end of the aisle so her friend could sit next to her. He kept telling her no because it was a fire hazard. Either way I just kept thinking, "Who the fuck does this bitch thinks she is?" I mean seriously youre going to walk into a show and expect someone to add an extra seat just for you? Please, give me a fucking break.

This girl was obviously determined and you could tell she was the type of girl who always gets her way. She moved onto this couple that was sitting in the aisle across from us because they had an empty seat near them. They told her no and that they were saving it for a friend. This girl was pretty persistent because she went back to the security guard seeing if he would change his mind. Thankfully he did not.

It got even better when she pulled out a whole five dollars (big spender) and bribed the couple with the empty seat next to them, again they turned her down again. Then she went back to the security guard and tried to bribe them with her whopping 5 dollars. At this point our whole section was cracking up because we could not believe how ridiculous this girl was being.

The show finally came on and the girl sat down defeated. It would have been fine except for the fact she kept getting up to talk on her phone. This girl was obviously a fucking idiot and wins the award for stupid ass of the day.

That's all I have for today.